Becoming Twenty Five

Becoming twenty five means living with something that I have dreamed of and scared of, and I don’t know if I should be happy or sad about it.

Photo by Riccardo Lo Re on Unsplash

I thought my life will end at twenty three. But I am going to be twenty five next month, and I am still here, walking, and sometimes running, chasing something that I don’t even think worth to be chased.

Everyday feels tiring, and sleep doesn’t help. Things that used to be fun doesn’t entertaining anymore. Everyday I keep thinking about what should I do to fill the void, so the emptiness wouldn’t eat me and turn me into something that I am not.

I have made a lot of mistakes, like falling in love with the wrong person, or taking advice from people who live a miserable life. And I have learned a lot of lessons too. Like learning how to forgive, and learning how to lower my ego.

So many things inside of me have been gone, like the hatred in my heart towards all the people who have hurt me, which now turned into a feeling of pitiness towards them.

Things that used to scare me when I was twenty doesn’t scare me anymore. I have achieved things that I am dreaming of when I was twenty. I am now living with something that I have dreamed of and scared of, and I don’t know if I should be happy or sad about it.